Jesus Cookies

Widely known as sausage balls by most Americans, my version is (a)bigger and (b)cheesier (mostly because of a)my laziness to keep smaller batches going into and out of the oven, and also (b)because of my love for a good tangy sharp cheddar cheese).

I grew up eating sausage balls on Sunday mornings when my dad would make a fresh hot batch for Breakfast Sunday, usually the first Sunday of the month at church. And so now every once in a while I'll make them for Carlton on Sunday mornings when we sleep in -- they make an excellent meal for a late breakfast or early lunch, especially on weekends when you just want to stay in your pj's all day and be lazy.

About a year ago, I started bringing this larger version of sausage balls to various gatherings with our friends. They were quickly re-named "Sausage Cookies" because the larger sausage balls would flatten out like a cookie while baking in the oven.

Then during a great college football game gathering this year the Sausage Cookies were re-named again. Our friend Ted, with a mouth full of sausage and cheesy biscuit, said something that went a little like this: "I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there: this sausage cookie just saved my soul. It opened my eyes to all that is holy and sacred, and brought me closer to God. I just decided that these should be called Jesus Cookies from now on."

And so it was. Or maybe, And all God's children said, "Amen." Either way, it stuck.

Our friends are all gathering together later this afternoon for a Superbowl Party at Eric and Stella's house. Carlton received our bring-this-food assignment via text message that went something like this: "Please tell Trish to bring her Velveeta cheese dip. And Jesus Cookies. Lots of Jesus Cookies."

So, without further adieu, here's the recipe that just might save your soul.


Start with these four ingredients:

To make 36 Jesus Cookies, you'll need:
- One package Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage (you can use mild if you don't like things spicy, or maple if you prefer things a bit sweet, but I'd steer clear of the sage flavor in this recipe)
- One large brick Medium or Sharp Cheddar Cheese (I think it's 14 oz or 16 oz?)
- 1 1/2 cups Bisquick baking mix
- 1 cup milk

Then complete these steps to enlightenment:

Start by cooking the sausage. Many online recipes skip this step, but I like to know that the pork sausage is cooked all the way through. And it's also the only way to get rid of all that extra grease. Break the sausage into small pieces as it cooks. (I hate it when the cooks on TV use a wooden spoon to cook raw meat, and they almost always do so. I always get stuck on the worry of those raw meat germs digging their way into the wood and never coming out, and multiplying, and tainting all the food you cook for eternity. But for some reason, today I used a bamboo utensil. Don't ask me why, I have no idea.)

While the sausage is cooking, shred your cheese. I always use the larger side of the grater that makes thicker shreds because the job gets done quicker. But if you like the skinny curly shreds of cheese, that will work just as well. It'll all melt in the end anyway. I usually leave about as much as you see in the picture for snacking with crackers and such later on. Mostly because by the time I have that much cheese left, my arm is tired and I don't want to slice my fingertips on the shredder. (One tip that really helps me shred the cheese: put the brick of cheese into the freezer about 30 minutes before you're going to shred it. It's easier to push through the shredder because it doesn't get all flimsy on you while you work.)

  

Dump your shredded cheese into a large mixing bowl along with the Bisquik baking mix. I use the original baking mix because that's what my dad uses and he's always right about formulas and mathematics and physics and stuff. So these Jesus Cookies always turn out right. Toss the cheese and baking mix until combined well.  ACTION SHOT!!!

Next, drain the grease from your cooked sausage and add it to the mixing bowl along with the milk. Stir it well until everything is combined and sticky. It should stick to the bowl, your fingers, everything. If it's not that sticky, add more milk a little at a time until it's that sticky. But not runny. If it's runny, add more baking mix until it's sticky like I said it should be. This is where my dad's physics are important.

Then plop your dough mixture out onto a sprayed cookie sheet about a 1/2" apart. It's important that the cookie sheet is sprayed because of all the cheese in these things -- it sticks to an unsprayed cookie sheet like a mofo, and you'll never have a single Jesus Cookie that makes it out unscathed. (Can I use the term mofo in the same sentence as Jesus? Is that wrong?) Your pre-cooked Jesus Cookies should be about this big:

After they've baked in the 400 degree oven for about 10-12 minutes, they should look like this, with slightly browned edges. The batter should still be fairly dense inside, but still just a little fluffy.

Sneak one or two while you put the next batch onto the cookie sheet and into the oven. (Should I put the food I'm eating so close to a bamboo stirring utensil that was just used to break up raw meat? Living on the wild side, I suppose.)

If you make these any time in the future, let me know what you think! They're certainly popular with Carlton, with me, and with our group of friends. They're perfect for your family breakfast or lunch, a snack at a party, or even as part of a breakfast-for-dinner meal! This batch is about to head over to Eric and Stella's house for the Superbowl Party. Maybe I should make another batch? 36 might not be enough for these guys.