213 Gardenia, Part 2: The Dave Chair

This story goes back to a long time ago, waaaaay back when. Carlton was still in college at UGA and his BFF/roommate Dave was preparing to move out of the condo after he'd graduated. Maybe it was laziness, maybe it was the tired I-give-up attitude we all get when we're moving, maybe it was because he had a brown set just like it, or maybe it was a little parting gift: Dave left a black leather chair and ottoman with Carlton.

I was super psyched--not because I wanted Dave to go, because I was really sad about that--but because I absolutely loved the chair and ottoman set! They were black leather with a beautiful curved back side made of wood that just about wrapped around you. The chair and ottoman both sat atop chrome legs that just finished the total look.

Well, as most of us know, Carlton's UGA college years were over in a flash--only 6 years, and that guy was outta there! Not too much time passed and the epic Athens condo was sold. And--really bad news for Trisha--her favorite chair and ottoman combo were gone with it. They never got moved out before the condo belonged to someone else!

I obsessed over the chair and whined and pined away for the chair. I knew it just wasn't in my future to own a chair like this. Why? Well, because it's the famous Eames Lounge Chair and Ottoman and the starting price on the set is about $5,000.00. That's five thousand dollars if you can't read zeros very well. I studied this furniture designer in college as an interior design student. Eames is a really big deal! And what made matters even worse was the fact that this chair is in just about any commercial or television show you will see... ever!!! The chair was speaking to me from the grave and there was nothing I could do about it. I secretly hoped that the scratch-off lotto tickets we got as a little $15 gift at Christmastime would win us the money to buy one. And that didn't happen! How rude.

Then Carlton got sick of listening to me whine and whimper about the freakin' chair. He shopped around online for a few weeks and revealed an excellent discovery: they make knock-offs! Duuuuuuh, Trisha. This meant I didn't have to resort to buying a ghetto ripped-up original on Ebay and pay tons to have it reupholstered in top grain leather and then attempt to find an ottoman to go with it. I could have a new one for a tiny fraction of the cost!

I have a new favorite corner in our living room: The Dave Chair is so comfortable to curl up in and watch TV. It just wraps around you and hugs you all over! The leather gets warm once you're settled in. The wood wraps around the back of the chair flawlessly and beautifully, and the legs shine so bright with their perfect chrome finish.

The Dave Chair is accented by a retro two-tier table with beautiful exposed dovetail details all the way around the edges and metal peg legs. I found the wooden lamp at WalMart as well as the ecru colored shade. The shade didn't really stand out against the color of our walls very well, and it seemed kinda blah next to the strong black statement chair, so I hot glued some black grosgrain around the top and bottom which finished it beautifully (I saw the idea in someone's blog once a while back... was it yourse?). The frames on the wall are also from WalMart, though the pictures to fill them are (hopefully) still waiting for me to pick them up from CVS. The green cracked glass candle sconces are from Pier 1 and were only $6 each! The Dave Chair is what makes this my new favorite corner in the living room.

213 Gardenia, Part 1: No palm pillows.

Since we moved into our first house at 213 Gardenia Drive in September of 2009, I have yet to show anything online about the decorating I've done to make this our home. Maybe I've shown a piece of something here or there, but I haven't shared any little stories or personal reasons behind our choices. So, I'm starting a little series (not sure how many "parts" there will be quite yet). I'm starting with the new furniture we've purchased for our living room. It's kind of a big deal because we've purchased a lot of new furniture to live in! 

We've selected everything very slowly a) because we wanted this to be high quality furniture that would last forever (aka a little more $$ than would allow us to purchase everything at once), so we wouldn't have to keep re-buying cheap furniture again and again, and b) because Carlton has given me all artistic, decorating, and wifely privileges of selecting the furniture I wanted so the house would turn into a space we're happy with, something that is well put-together, something that is well decorated, and something that is well thought out. So I have been taking my time and making sure everything was juuuuust right. Of course we're not completely done (by far), but we've definitely made some excellent progress.

So, without further adieu, I proudly introduce you to The Living Room Furniture:

Part 1: The Barcalounger

I'll go ahead and apologize in advance if you own a recliner that is stereotypical to La Z Boy's puffy pillow-laden style. I'm about to bust it up with hatred. I've got a big problem with the typical "recliner." I absolutely hate the puffy, puckered-up, over-stuffed, chenille clad reclining chairs. Their gross wooden handles on whichever side of the chair make me cringe. Their floppy and overstuffed headrests make me actually lean my chin towards my chest when I'm sitting in one of these abominations... how can that be considered comfortable??? And what's with the extra padded armrests on top... of the... armrests? The palms of my hands really don't need a pillow. Thanks very much. 

 

So when Carlton put his foot down that he was "gonna have a recliner no matter what" and I put my foot down that he absolutely was not "gonna have a huge ugly puffy piece of ugliness in our house no matter what," we started shopping around. A lot. Thanks to Barcalounger and their smart design, The Hubs and I are both really happy. Carlton's Barcalounger stands tall, square, and proud. Its leather has already worn in nicely. See on the footrest, where his leg wiggles constantly while he concentrates on a book or a game? It's the same effect on the arms where he pushes back to recline, and as well where his head rests--the leather is darkened and buffed a little. And Vespa's cute little puppy scratches are on the arms of the chair, too. She jumps onto the Barcalounger when she's excited, i.e. when she knows she's going to get to go for a ride. On the side that's facing the camera, near the back at the bottom right corner, you can see the animal's natural hide--wrinkles from the animal's armpit or leg skin wrinkling and folding, and even a few bug bite scars! It's totally natural and susceptible to the wear of our everyday life... and it's supposed to look like that. Which I love. It's different than our parents' leather furniture because it's imperfect and because not run through embossing machines to give it that "natural" (not nearly!) bumpy look that, in my opinion, resembles jewel toned styrofoam (not hatin', just sayin'!). I could just squeeze this chair, I love it so much. And it smells good, too. And it doesn't hurt that we got it for 30% off, either. It's all good with the Barcalounger.

 

While Carlton says it's not a "sleep all night" kind of recliner, he sure does seem to like it until around 11:00 to midnight every night when we go to bed. So, we're both happy: he has a man chair recliner to lounge in at night while I have a beautifully square, non-puffy club chair to admire. No palm pillows in this living room.

Slappin' da bass

First off, this is not a love letter to Paul Rudd. But if it happened to be one, I would totally gush. My love of his absolutely hilarious body humor is just kinda outta control. I loved him in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and I have loved him in so many movies I can't even count! The way he can move his body all crooked and snap his neck to the side and pronounce his words to bring laughter to his audience is just unparalleled in my book. It's good old fashioned goofy comedy. Not that this is a love letter. Just sayin'.

Before I move on, you should watch this clip of Paul Rudd and that good old fashioned goofy comedy. Be sure to watch the entire scene of him and his fiancee after they've discussed one of his favorite hobbies, slappin' da bass (which she had no idea about) and one of his favorite bands, Rush (which she has never heard before):





Now on to what happened the Thursday night.

I was lying on the sofa, just minding my own business semi-watching Hollywood Week on American Idol. It was the first time the contestants were performing on the Hollywood stage by themselves. I was suddenly interested when contestant Casey Abrams's presence on the show was already being chronicled (only a few episodes into the season). Was this crazy-interesting performer going home already?? His audition with the air blown keyboard thing was one of my favorites! The kid wasn't afraid to be crazy and have soul at the same time. I liked him because he was really different.

He was being chronicled because of his crazy audition attitude and crazy audition musical instrument, all because he was about to make another crazy move: this guy had a bass in hand and had planned to use it on stage for his next performance! I'm not talking about a Paul Rudd rock band bass here, either. I mean, this guy was wheeling out a taller-than-himself string symphony style string bass.

This is gonna be... interestinnnnnnng???

And then this happened:




Yes, I realize his voice was pitchy and off tune and pretty much all over the place about half the time. But what a performance!

I'm a true stickler for a few select songs. You've gotta sing them right. You've gotta have the right voice. You've gotta have the charisma. And in a few cases, such as Georgia On My Mind, you've just gotta be Ray Charles. No excuses!

Well, unless you're Casey Abrams, apparently. I hate it when singers have pitch and tone problems--who doesn't! He was pushing himself when he selected this song to sing. But the performance overall literally got me to sit straight up, clap, laugh in disbelief, renounce my Ray Charles or die rule, and rewind it to watch a few more times thanks to TiVo.

I've just gotta say this: I'm a fan of Casey Abrams. What a performance! I'll keep watching the show this season just to wait for another performance by him!


P.S. This experience has happened to me once before and I wrote about it here. Adam Lambert stole the show when he sang Mad World, a creepy-beautiful song featured in the cult film Donnie Darko (which I'm bothered that I love so much), and I watched American Idol that season just to see what Adam Lambert was gonna do next.

P.S.P.S. I do really like Paul Rudd, though. Like, a lot. Don't tell Carlton.

Q & A

Q: What happens when you go to CVS late at night to buy Liquid BandAid for a rather inconvenient finger injury?

A: Your husband and you decide to hit up the candy aisle for an after-dinner sweet snack. And of course, since he's in the mood for something rich while you want something fruity, he goes for the PeanutButter M&Ms while you grab the Skittles.



Q: What happens when you opt out of registering for candy dishes as wedding gifts for your nuptials three-and-a-half years ago because they're silly little crystal bowls that are useless and unnecessary and a waste of money according to you?

A: Your husband's PeanutButter M&Ms are piled on the table next to his recliner for easy access, just a few at a time, because he only wants a little corner cut from the bag "to keep them from ending up everywhere if they spill."



Q: What happens when a few of those PeanutButter M&Ms stay behind on the table overnight and throughout the next morning, afternoon, and evening because the ole Hubster got full and decided he was done eating said PeanutButter M&Ms?

A: Those candies stay exactly where the Hubster put them overnight. They stay there through the next morning. And probably throughout the afternoon because Puppa sleeps most of the day. But in the evening, Momma and Poppa come home from work to find a little tan puddle of puppy puke on the floor. Hmmm, Momma is puzzled but tosses the small step rug into the wash.

Then just before dinner, while Poppa and Puppa are cuddling in a newly washed white comforter, Momma notices a rather dazzling stripe of neon blue across said comforter. "Hmmm," Momma thought. "That must be the little Clorox laundry booster thingy I put into the washing machine with the comforter and sheets to get things extra white. Maybe it didn't rinse all the way out if the comforter was all tangled up around it?"

Then Momma looks over at Puppa. Puppa's little white beard is slightly coated in the same neon blue color like a teenager who has decided to highlight her pretty blonde hair with Blue Raspberry Lemonade KoolAid (because that really does work). Panic stricken, Momma is terrified that Puppa may have smelled the sweet laundry scent and decided to nibble on what was left? That could be another "that can't be good" moment in this household... and that can't be good.

Then Momma looks at Puppa's paws. Same neon blue! What's going on here?

Puppa jumps down, picks up something from the floor, and jumps back onto Poppa's lap. She spits out a round neon blue something shaped like a marble. Poppa notices it as a PeanutButter M&M. Momma is totally relieved.

This explains the little puddle of tan puke. It explains the neon blue beard, paws, chest, and comforter. It explains why... ALL OF POPPA'S LEFTOVER PEANUTBUTTER M&MS ARE MISSING FROM THE TABLE!!!

Vespa finishes her last little neon treat with a happy little smile on her face. Because dogs can smile. It's been proven.

Hey, at least it wasn't bleach!

(I hit the fun little Saturate button in my Picasa editor because I wanted to be sure the blue could be seen even in our dim night time living room light. That's why Vespa's little undercarriage looks so hot pink. But the blue? It's really that bright!)

"That can't be good."

Those were the first four words that actually came out of my mouth after this happened:

The next four words were: "Carlton! Come here! Quick!!!" And then something like, "Carlton, WAKE UP and get in here now, I've hurt myself!!!" (I made the picture that poopish color instead of actual color because it's really even grosser in actual color. (Spell check didn't give "grosser" a red squiggle, so it counts in my book!) Yes, this was a double parenthesis. Woot!)

Because just minutes before I did that up there, I had taken this picture:

He was napping because we like to practice what we call "Lazy Sunday" around this house, and it was definitely really nice Lazy Sunday. Until. Poor guy got a loud, panicked wake-up call.

Just a few things here and then I'll be done:

1. I'm so glad I was using my fancy ceramic knife because it was really sharp (obviously), thus I wasn't really pressing down on the knife that hard (which would have made the above poopish colored photo even more gruesome).
2. I was holding the handle of the knife with my left hand because I (not true--->) like to pretend (true--->) I'm a southpaw.
3. I was pressing down on the top of the knife at the tip of it with my right hand (hand pictured above in poopish color) for a little help, and to make things safer (laugh*) by not having to press so hard on the knife from the handle. *Funny how I was using the hand I'm not good with to help out the hand I am good with.
4. My right hand slipped down towards the cutting board.
5. I reacted HOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE reacted for a split second, jerked my hand back towards me, and SHWING!!!!!ING!ING!ING!!! That was the sound of a steel blade shwinging, though I wasn't even using a steel blade. Kinda like cars erking to a stop in a movie when they're on cobblestone streets. Basically, not really possible at all ever.
6. I sliced my fingertip, including the nail, open.
7. Was Velveeta cheese dip really worth it?

Jesus Cookies

Widely known as sausage balls by most Americans, my version is (a)bigger and (b)cheesier (mostly because of a)my laziness to keep smaller batches going into and out of the oven, and also (b)because of my love for a good tangy sharp cheddar cheese).

I grew up eating sausage balls on Sunday mornings when my dad would make a fresh hot batch for Breakfast Sunday, usually the first Sunday of the month at church. And so now every once in a while I'll make them for Carlton on Sunday mornings when we sleep in -- they make an excellent meal for a late breakfast or early lunch, especially on weekends when you just want to stay in your pj's all day and be lazy.

About a year ago, I started bringing this larger version of sausage balls to various gatherings with our friends. They were quickly re-named "Sausage Cookies" because the larger sausage balls would flatten out like a cookie while baking in the oven.

Then during a great college football game gathering this year the Sausage Cookies were re-named again. Our friend Ted, with a mouth full of sausage and cheesy biscuit, said something that went a little like this: "I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there: this sausage cookie just saved my soul. It opened my eyes to all that is holy and sacred, and brought me closer to God. I just decided that these should be called Jesus Cookies from now on."

And so it was. Or maybe, And all God's children said, "Amen." Either way, it stuck.

Our friends are all gathering together later this afternoon for a Superbowl Party at Eric and Stella's house. Carlton received our bring-this-food assignment via text message that went something like this: "Please tell Trish to bring her Velveeta cheese dip. And Jesus Cookies. Lots of Jesus Cookies."

So, without further adieu, here's the recipe that just might save your soul.


Start with these four ingredients:

To make 36 Jesus Cookies, you'll need:
- One package Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage (you can use mild if you don't like things spicy, or maple if you prefer things a bit sweet, but I'd steer clear of the sage flavor in this recipe)
- One large brick Medium or Sharp Cheddar Cheese (I think it's 14 oz or 16 oz?)
- 1 1/2 cups Bisquick baking mix
- 1 cup milk

Then complete these steps to enlightenment:

Start by cooking the sausage. Many online recipes skip this step, but I like to know that the pork sausage is cooked all the way through. And it's also the only way to get rid of all that extra grease. Break the sausage into small pieces as it cooks. (I hate it when the cooks on TV use a wooden spoon to cook raw meat, and they almost always do so. I always get stuck on the worry of those raw meat germs digging their way into the wood and never coming out, and multiplying, and tainting all the food you cook for eternity. But for some reason, today I used a bamboo utensil. Don't ask me why, I have no idea.)

While the sausage is cooking, shred your cheese. I always use the larger side of the grater that makes thicker shreds because the job gets done quicker. But if you like the skinny curly shreds of cheese, that will work just as well. It'll all melt in the end anyway. I usually leave about as much as you see in the picture for snacking with crackers and such later on. Mostly because by the time I have that much cheese left, my arm is tired and I don't want to slice my fingertips on the shredder. (One tip that really helps me shred the cheese: put the brick of cheese into the freezer about 30 minutes before you're going to shred it. It's easier to push through the shredder because it doesn't get all flimsy on you while you work.)

  

Dump your shredded cheese into a large mixing bowl along with the Bisquik baking mix. I use the original baking mix because that's what my dad uses and he's always right about formulas and mathematics and physics and stuff. So these Jesus Cookies always turn out right. Toss the cheese and baking mix until combined well.  ACTION SHOT!!!

Next, drain the grease from your cooked sausage and add it to the mixing bowl along with the milk. Stir it well until everything is combined and sticky. It should stick to the bowl, your fingers, everything. If it's not that sticky, add more milk a little at a time until it's that sticky. But not runny. If it's runny, add more baking mix until it's sticky like I said it should be. This is where my dad's physics are important.

Then plop your dough mixture out onto a sprayed cookie sheet about a 1/2" apart. It's important that the cookie sheet is sprayed because of all the cheese in these things -- it sticks to an unsprayed cookie sheet like a mofo, and you'll never have a single Jesus Cookie that makes it out unscathed. (Can I use the term mofo in the same sentence as Jesus? Is that wrong?) Your pre-cooked Jesus Cookies should be about this big:

After they've baked in the 400 degree oven for about 10-12 minutes, they should look like this, with slightly browned edges. The batter should still be fairly dense inside, but still just a little fluffy.

Sneak one or two while you put the next batch onto the cookie sheet and into the oven. (Should I put the food I'm eating so close to a bamboo stirring utensil that was just used to break up raw meat? Living on the wild side, I suppose.)

If you make these any time in the future, let me know what you think! They're certainly popular with Carlton, with me, and with our group of friends. They're perfect for your family breakfast or lunch, a snack at a party, or even as part of a breakfast-for-dinner meal! This batch is about to head over to Eric and Stella's house for the Superbowl Party. Maybe I should make another batch? 36 might not be enough for these guys.